Skymall Always Makes Me Smile

When I was a child, I was always so excited to go on planes. I would pack my backpack full of all my toys, books and my Sega Genesis. I would even look forward to airplane food because I loved being on planes so much. (On a side note, I’d like to mention that my palate has become a lot more refined since the days I used to think airplane food was amazing.)

However, years have passed since those days, and I have been on so many planes that to me air travel has lost some of its magic. But, there is still one thing I still look forward to and that is browsing the Skymall catalog. I used to look through every page and wish that for once my parents would get me “The World’s Largest Write on Map Mural” so I could mark all the places I’ve been with little flags. Over the years though, I have noticed that some of the products in Skymall have progressively gotten more ridiculous, and I constantly keep asking myself “Why in the world… .”

Here is a round up of some of my favorites from the Holiday 2009 edition:

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I don’t care if they call this an organized traveler’s leather hip pouch… this is a $60 glorified fanny pack.

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Why do you need to shoot a marshmallow over 30 feet?

And if you definitely need more distance you can get the marshmallow bazooka…

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Yea, I’d call this a chocking hazard but not because it has small parts.

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So, this is basically a tanning bed/box for your feet so now even your foot skin can get cancer.

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Yea, I’m just not dying to have a zombie coming out of my yard, sorry.

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I guess if you really like Harry and the Hendersons this would be a great addition to your garden.

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Hmm, if you have no trouble keeping track of the hour and date , why not just get a calendar? And, it also makes me wonder what kinds of conversations this starts.

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As if texting while driving wasn’t dangerous enough… now you can be completely distracted by your computer and printer. They should probably make “Not for use while driving” a lot bigger and bolder.

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I always wondered how much those giant monkeys at car dealerships were and now I know.

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Yep, when I’m underwater I have ALWAYS wanted to make and receive  phonecalls. I guess I don’t really see any value in this unless you’re like Jacques Cousteau or something. This might be good for sharks lurking around you though.

And as always I have saved the best for last:

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Wow… there are just no words. I’d pay $100 bucks to see the person who paid $100 bucks to buy this try to use all their brain power and teleketic energy to do this.

PS. Hey Skymall, if you’re hiring people to write your product descriptions… I’m currently looking for a job and would love to test your products

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5 Comments

Filed under Entertainment, flights

5 responses to “Skymall Always Makes Me Smile

  1. thefob

    SkyMall is as random and as much fun as TeleShopping Network.

    Great post, great blog! Welcome to the blogosphere!

    Cheers,

    The Fob.

  2. I think the only job that might be more awesome than writing for SkyMall would be writing headlines for the New York Post!

  3. SP

    I think that instead of writing for Skymall you should be their Vice President of Common Sense. As in, “No, what the hell do we need an underwater phone for and why do we want to remind people on a plane that it might crash into the water?”

  4. thegoriwife

    I hate hate hate that stupid Skymall magazine. My husband bugs me with it for hours showing me all those “fantastic products” that we just can’t live without. Then we have to have an argument about whether he should bring his “free copy! They mean for you to take it!” home with him. Where it would sit on the side table with the Skymall from October 2008 that he’s never looked at again. Ugh. Skymall.

  5. I need that marshmallow shooter. Just the shooter tho – I think the bazooka is a little too much power, even for me.

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